9 Funny Accessories For Your Dog

Hilarious Accessories For Your Dog

1. Neuticles: Fake Balls For Neutered Dogs

We used to think they were crazy, but now we see they’re nuts. Neuticles, the testicular implants for dogs and other pets, seemed like a bad joke when they were introduced in 1995. These days they’re still a joke, but one that is catching on all over the place. The company claims over 500,000 pets have been “Neuticled” – that comes out to over one million fake balls “served.”
As weird as this product seems, it’s easy to understand its appeal. People (men in particular, for some reason) have a hard time with the idea of castrating their dogs. At the same time, we’re constantly reminded of the importance of spaying and neutering. Neuticles take some of the ooginess out of this necessary procedure.

But do dogs really care if they have a full sack? The inventor of Neuticles recently told the Huffington Post that boy dogs psychologically need their testicles. He suggests that testicle implants will help your dog remain the same old pet after sterilization.

Of course, a lot of owners want to change their male dog’s personality. Neutering gets rid of those raging hormones that lead to aggression (along with other bad behavior like marking and humping). The question is whether having something in his sack will offset some of the behavioral benefits of neutering. If so, perhaps you could go back for a smaller pair? Just a thought.

Neuticles come in different models, ranging in price from $120 for the basic set to $1200 for a pair of UltraPluses. The high-end model is described as the “softest most natural implant possible.” Why would dog owners be willing to pay top dollar for fake dog testicles that are perfect in every detail? Some questions are best left unanswered.

Actually, there is one valid reason that springs to mind. If your dog only needs one nut replaced for whatever reason, you might want to go for the expensive model (yes, Neuticles are sold individually). Otherwise, your dog might end up with an unsightly mismatch.

If you’re squeamish about having your dog castrated, there are a couple of alternatives that don’t involve purchasing prosthetic testes. For example, vasectomies work just as well on dogs as they do on humans. Chemical castration is another option that seems to be gaining popularity. But then, both of these options come with their own downsides as well.

Laugh about fake dog balls all you want, but the inventor makes a solid point when he says his product has encouraged more people to get their dogs neutered. Anything that lowers the number of unwanted dogs in the world is probably a net good.

2. Bowlingual gives dog barks a human voice

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Japanese toymaker Tomy has released a new dog translator gadget that can turn barks into words.

Bowlingual Voice is an update to Bowlingual, first released way back in 2002. The new version speaks with a human voice from a handheld unit wirelessly linked to a microphone around the dog's collar. The original version had no voice synthesizer.

Bowlingual Voice recognizes six basic canine emotions. Tomy says it can simultaneously translate the woofs of about 50 breeds of dog into Japanese.

Not surprisingly, the dogs say things like "I love you!" and not "Stop feeding me the same crap every day."

Another new feature is the use of the 2.4GHz band for transmission, which supposedly eliminates interference from other Bowlingual units. Tomy says you can use up to five Bowlinguals at the same time to translate doggie conversations. As seen in the Japanese video below, one dog asks, "Do you like me?" while the other says, "Go away!"

The handheld unit also has features like an "action dictionary" to help decipher the emotional states of hounds that don't bark much; a dog quiz; and a scheduler for trimmings and vet visits.

The idea of a dog translator sounds wacky, but Tomy says there's some science behind it. Japan Acoustic Laboratory's Matsumi Suzuki, an acoustics expert, developed the system that recognizes canine vocalizations.

I remember interviewing staff for an article in Japan Inc magazine when the original model came out. It notes that "the actual text messages are chosen at random from about 40 preset phrases within the emotion categories."

As far as I can tell, this random feature is part of Bowlingual Voice, which makes it more of an approximate interpreter than something like the universal translator from Star Trek and other science fiction tales.

You can get it on Amazon Japan for 18,900 yen, or about $200. There's no word on if or when it might be released outside Japan.

3. Dog Leg Warmers

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Although the idea may seem silly at first, dog leg warmers are actually fashionable and functional. Leg warmers are ideal for keeping those little annoying snowballs from accumulating on your dog's legs during the harsh winter. Also perfect for protecting wounds or medical bandages or for keeping arthritic dog's legs warm. Or perhaps you just want to maintain that totally awesome 80's doggy style! Due to sanitary reasons, all dog leg warmers are final sale and non-refundable/exchangeable.

4. Dogs Have Built-In Snow Boots, Researchers Find

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All that snow and ice just doesn’t seem to bother little Fido’s paws, and new research actually explains why.

Dogs’ paws, which lack the warm coverings on the rest of their bodies, have an intricate heat transfer system built in that immediately warms cold blood. Couple that system with a high amount of freeze-resistant connective tissue and fat located in the pads of the paw, and a dog’s paw rivals that of a penguin’s wing for the ability to stay warm in crazy-cold climates.

Researchers in Japan recently studied the legs and paws of dogs and discovered that a “wonderful network” of veins helped quickly circulate blood from the pad through the legs to warm it back up before sending it into the body, keeping the overall temperature of the dog steady. This same network has been found in penguins’ extremities, arctic foxes and even dolphins’ fins.

Released in the journal Veterinary Dermatology, the researchers found that with arteries running right close to veins, warm blood actually passed by the cool blood, helping to speed warming even more. This system, dubbed “counter-current heat exchanger” also pulls warm blood to the paws and limits the amount of blood near the body’s cool skin.

Earlier research had claimed that dogs have tissue in their feet that keep them from freezing all the way down to -35 degrees Celsius, meaning you can let your pet dog play freely with your pet penguin without fear of frozen paws.

5. Dog Fashion Spa Male Dog Cologne - Maschio

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Machino is made for the canine "man of the house" and, according to its creators, creates a "feeling of relaxed sophistication and understated luxury" in your pet. With notes of lemon, grapefruit, bergamot, lavender, marine accord, amber, and musk, the $60 scent is inspired by the energy of New York City, the ultimate expression of dog masculinity.

6. Hotdoll: A Love Doll For Your Dog To Hump

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Does your dog not stop humping your child's stuffed animals, guests that walk through the door, or even your own leg? Then buying a hump doll for you dog might just be in order. The HotDoll as so it's called is essentially a sex toy for you dog. The doll is somewhat shaped like a fancy little dog so your dog will feel right at home humping it's brains out in an attempt to feel dominant over a piece of plastic. So if you're to lazy to actually train your dog and/or disciplinthem them to not hump, and you don't like them humping random objects around the house or your guests that come by your home, why not pick up a love doll for your dog. Your dog sees you play with your love doll so much that he's getting a little jealous.

The love doll for your dog was made to cater to dogs that measure 8.6 inches tall to 18.1 inches tall at withers height, was designed to offer your dog a no slide design for your dog's legs so that he can hump comfortably, as well as an extreme grip so the device won't slip around on the floor, plus the device comes with a replaceable cone of your dog to stick stuff in like a true sex toy.

The HotDoll for your dog comes in either black or white colors to choose from, is made from silicone and plastic, and in case your dog has a little too much fun and makes a little mess, the doll is easily cleaned by simply wiping clean with a paper towel and cleaning products that are safe for plastic and silicone.


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We all want our pets to look good, but sometimes they need an extra pizzazz and you don’t know where to look. Have you ever considered adding a bit of color to your dog’s nails? Dog nail polish isn’t a new trend, but it’s not one many people have heard of. You can add a little flair to your dog’s looks with a little bit of sparkle to their nails.

But there are some important things that you must know of before you start using your own polish on your dog.

Ever since Hollywood stars have started carrying their small dogs around with them to events, their dogs have become fashion accessories. In order to keep them looking good and to coordinate with their outfits, it’s not unheard of for their dog’s nails to be painted in order to match their ensemble.

This trend resulted in a boom in the dog couture industry, leading to fashion designers creating beautifully diamond studded collars, carrying bags, clothing, and pet nail polish.

8. Dog Butt Covers

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Rear Gear seller Etsy hawks accessories for your cat or dog, but not the usual doggy jackets or cute miniature hats. Au contraire—Rear Gear specializes in canine butt covers. (Its charming tagline is “No more Mr. Brown Eye.”) They come in various designs, including cupcakes, disco balls, biohazard symbols, and even custom versions, like a company logo or cute family photo. Just hang this bad boy on your pet's tail, and you can totally pretend that it's not a living, pooping animal—for a few hours anyway.

9. Peculiar Kickstarter, Piqapoo, Wants You to Attach a Bag to Your Dog’s Butt

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Dog ownership can be dirty work — mostly thanks to routine poop pick-ups.

So Kickstarter Piqapoo has created a new gizmo in an effort to get rid of this icky part of pup parenting.

Piqapoo is a cushioned clip you attach to your dog’s tail (sorry, bulldogs), which has a small bag attached to the bottom. The invention claims that when your dog does his or her business, the attached bag will catch the poop for you. All you have to do is un-clip the used satchel and toss it.

The Kickstarter has already surpassed its $15,000 fundraising goal, with more than $18,000 in donations so far, and has 56 days to collect more funds. So it looks like a Piqapoo is going to be a reality.

The creators of the droppings catcher say that the Piqapoo has been tested on 100 dogs with positive results. Do you think your pup would be okay with using a Piqapoo, or would you rather stick to picking up after your pooch yourself?

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