1. When your gingerbread house fails...add dinosaur.
Add one dinosaur and your gingerbread house failure suddenly becomes a "smashing" success!
2. FAIL: Santa's Bread Head
This Santa Claus bread is pretty Ho-Ho-Horrible.
Santa got run over by a reindeer—many, many times.
3. Bad Strawberry Santas
Christmas time means cooking and baking for friends and family, and while some are so adept they give homemade goodies as gifts others try their best to cook for guests and end up failing miserably.
With all the stress, shopping madness and rushing around to get things done in time it's no wonder so many people fail to properly prepare even the simplest of dishes.
But sometimes we fail because the person who posted the recipe exaggerated about how easy it is to make, resulting in an embarrassing mess that's supposed to resemble Mr. Claus.
4. Leslie Horton’s horrendous holiday artichoke dip goes viral
Last week, Calgary traffic reporter Leslie Horton brought the homemade dip to work as part of a week-long segment featuring holiday treats from Global Calgary anchors.
Horton admitted the dip wasn’t her first choice; she was planning to bring a fruitcake from Safeway but her sister encouraged her to try making a recipe of hers that is always a crowd pleaser.
Unfortunately, Horton said something with the dip went “horribly wrong.”
“It didn’t work out. I’m telling you right now, this did not work out,” Horton admitted.
In the video, posted to Global Calgary’s website and the Global News YouTube channel on Friday, meteorologist Jordan Witzel and anchors Scott Fee and Amber Schinkel sample the disastrous dip.
“I thought it smelled like a barn,” Fee said. “Is it edible?”
The dip had an overwhelming taste of vinegar, despite Horton’s insistence that none was added.
“That’s like all that I can taste is vinegar,” Schinkel laughed. “It burns.”
As of Monday at 10 a.m., the video was number six on YouTube’s trending list with over 850,000 views.
“I’m so glad my cooking fail brought a smile to so many faces,” Horton said.
“It was just another kitchen experiment gone wrong for me, but this time my co-workers were unfortunately subject to my free-wheeling in the kitchen”
So why was the dip such a disaster?
Horton admitted she used marinated artichokes instead of fresh (thus the vinegar taste) and a “dry mandarin orange” instead of fresh lemon juice. Lastly, she improvised her spices.
“It turns out celery salt does not belong in artichoke dip,” Horton said.
“I am a terrible cook. I could create a cookbook with all the recipes and dishes I have ruined. I need to stop improvising in the kitchen but I keep trying.”
When asked why she thought the video seemed to strike a chord with so many people, Horton said it was “an honest moment of good fun, caught on live TV.”
“My co-workers’ reactions were priceless,” she said. “We all have fails, and viewers like to know their morning team is just like them.”
Horton said the dip is “delicious” when her sister makes it.
“She wants everyone to know the recipe was not at fault, it was operator error on my part.”
In case you were curious about what happened to the dip following the segment, Horton brought it to an afternoon Christmas potluck lunch at Global Calgary.
“Nobody touched it,” Horton said. “I think the legend of the ‘choke dip reached enough people that they got scared off.”
The video was featured on news websites around the world including Huffington Post, Today, Esquire and Mashable,
Artichoke dip recipe from Leslie Horton:
- 2 cans artichokes drained and chopped
- 1 can chopped green chilies drained
- 2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
- ½ freshly grated Asiago or Parmesan cheese
- ½ to ¾ cup Mayo
5. FAIL: REINDEER COOKIES
6. A Tipped Pan Makes For A Sorry Snowman
7. WORST HOLIDAY BAKING FAILS
8. Who's Eating Who?: Terrifying Cthurkey Turkey Dinner
This is the Cthulhu inspired Christmas dinner made by Texan Rusty Eulberg and his wife. It consists of a bacon layered turkey (although I'm using the term 'layered' very lightly because three strips ain't shit) with crab legs underneath and a couple octopus tentacles poking out of its ass. Would you eat it? "God no." I love how easily you lie to yourself.
According to Eulberg, he and wife Jennifer Robledo "wanted to do something unique for Christmas dinner with friends of ours. Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken."
Eulberg says, "The universal reaction was, 'Oh my God, I couldn't eat that.' But each individual piece was cooked separately; all I did was set them together on the plate. It was delicious.
Ah, so all the different pieces were cooked separately. In that case I call all the crab legs. "But--" But nothing, pass the butter. "You can't have ALL the crab legs." I can and I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the kid's table. They get me over there.
Keep going for two more shots of the taste sensation.
Thanks to fat piggie, who is terrified of winding up on somebody's table this Christmas.
9. A Failed Christmas Fudge
10. Severely Stalled Christmas Sweaters